"Trying to be all things to all people means you are nothing to yourself."

Nicole Lapin

Nicole Lapin is an American television news anchor, author, and businesswoman. She is known for being an American news anchor on CNBC, CNN, and Bloomberg. Lapin also served as a finance correspondent for Morning Joe on MSNBC and The Today Show on NBC. She is The New York Times bestselling author of Rich Bitch and Boss Bitch. Her latest book, Becoming Super Woman, is out this September.

Connect with Nicole: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Super Woman Book

Today’s question is: how can we avoid burnout?

You might be working hard, but feeling like you are not working hard enough. You might be looking at perfectly curated feeds on social media and feeling like your own life is not enough in comparison. You might be trying to get to the bottom of a seemingly endless to-do list. This constant workload is leading many people to burnout, a condition that has recently been recognized by the World Health Organization as a widespread health risk.

A businesswoman, news anchor, and New York Times bestselling author, today’s guest Nicole Lapin looked like she had it all for years. Behind the scenes, she was experiencing exhaustion and burnout and is here to tell us how we can avoid going down the same path.

In this episode, we will explain why self-care can be the greatest asset to your career. We will explain how widespread burnout, and give you some practical tips to avoid or recover from it. Finally, we will give you some challenges to do to get you on the path to balance and improved self-care.

 

Show Notes

CAN WE HAVE IT ALL?

  • Often we don’t put our oxygen mask on before helping others, and working like crazy is driving us crazy.
  • “Trying to be all things to all people means you are nothing to yourself.”
  • There’s a difference between doing it all and having it all. You can have it all, as long as you define what “having it all” means to you.
  • If you define what having it all means, you can achieve it without changing the goalposts all the time and comparing yourself to others, which is a recipe for burnout.

ABOUT BURNOUT

  • Burnout is an official condition now and is incredibly widespread among women. You can learn more about it from the official World Health Organization study
  • If you feel burnt out, exhausted and tired, maybe it’s not because you’re not doing too much, it’s because you’re not doing enough of the things that make you come alive.
  • Self-care can crush you or bring you more success than you ever imagined.
  • Comparison is the thief of all joy. We are comparing ourselves to others constantly when we’re on social media.
  • Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery: when you identify the problem and say what it is, it takes away some of the power from the problem and you can start to address it. 

NICOLE’S STORY

  • If you are feeling burnt out, you are not alone.
  • Nicole looked like she had it all. She was a best-selling author and an anchor on cable news. 
  • At events she got asked “how do you stay so balanced all the time?” and she was honest—she wasn’t balanced.
  • “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
  • After her second book tour, she had a complete burnout and breakdown that led to emergency hospitalization. She had to rethink everything, including how she was working, managing her time, and self-care.

EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

  • Emotional wellness is a combination of emotional intelligence and mental wellness. This is the biggest asset or liability in your career—it’s not about whether you are networking or doing your MBA. Nothing matters when you don’t have your health.
  • If you neglect your self-care for too long, eventually self-care will demand all of your time and energy.
  • We get taught complex concepts in school, but nothing about emotional wellness and self-care.

HOW TO SELF-CARE

  • Proven ways to increase your balance: meditation, gratitude, sleep, and exercise.
  • Taking new classes that interested her helped Nicole and became a meditative exercise.
  • For Nicole, the routine was non-negotiable. She used to have a day that could be hijacked by other people, which she started by checking her phone first thing and acting on other people’s priorities rather than setting intentions and boundaries for herself.
  • No is a complete sentence. You can say no at work and still get ahead. By saying no and drawing hard boundaries, you can have more success and set up other people’s expectations of you. 
  • We’re worried about letting people down by saying no. If you don’t have time or bandwidth yourself, then you’re letting somebody down even more because you won’t be able to follow through.
  • When you say yes to somebody, you have to make sure you are not saying no to yourself.
  • Selfish is considered a criticism, and being selfless is considered a compliment. It should be the other way around.
  • If you want to say “you complete me”, look in the mirror and do it.
  • Time is our most valuable asset. You can always get more money, but you can’t get more time.
  • Be your own hero and make space for yourself. Don’t wait for somebody to swoop in and save you.

CHALLENGES

  • Quick challenge: count how many times you say “I’m sorry” during the day. Apologizing constantly puts you in a place of weakness.
  • Come up with your goals in 1,3,5,7, and increments. Make goals in the four Fs: finances, fun, family, and mental fitness. If you don’t know the destination, there’s no way to get there.
  • Write down the top five things that you value. Staying true to these values is ultimately what will create longevity and long-term balance in your life.
  • We think a thousand times before canceling on other people, but are quick to cancel on ourselves (e.g. skipping a scheduled workout to take a work meeting). 

SHARE WITH US

  • Take a screenshot of this episode, tag us on social media (@jimkwik & @nicolelapin) and share your best tip for getting out of burnout!
  • Find Nicole’s book here: Becoming A Super Woman

*Please note, this episode is educational only and is not intended to diagnose or treat medical conditions. Please consult your healthcare provider if you have any questions or concerns.* 

 

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