Creating a Lasting Change with Jessica Ortner
"We have to be able to honor our experience, what we are really feeling, and let our mind and body know that we are safe."
How can you eliminate fear and create lasting change?
If you have ever felt anxious, afraid, or overwhelmed with emotion, like most of us, this episode is certainly for you. Today we will learn a way to calm our anxiety and our bodies so we don’t have to be ruled by old experiences.
In this episode, we welcome our special guest, New York Times best-selling author, Jessica Ortner. Jessica is a long time friend and we are excited to have her on to discuss mindset as part of our “Limitless Together” series. Her latest book, The Tapping Solution to Creating Lasting Change, is a guide to help you to eliminate negative internal language, fears, uncertainty, procrastination and more to finally be able to create lasting change.
OUR BODIES REMEMBER
- In my book, Limitless, I mention that one of the best ways to remember something is to tie emotions to it.
- Jessica points out that one of the challenges we have is that it’s easier to remember a tough event or moment in time because there is so much emotion tied to it, but it’s not as easy to remember when we do great things.
- We have to take a closer look at our past and ask ourselves, “what are some of the limiting beliefs that I’ve picked up?”
- It wasn’t until Jessica learned the technique of tapping that she realized she had to look back at some of the old stories and anxieties she experienced in childhood to do something about it.
- Our bodies remember our experiences. (e.g. like Jessica, it’s possible in your twenties to experience the same feeling from test anxiety that you did in the second grade.)
- Today we will learn a way to calm our anxiety and our bodies so we do not have to be ruled by old experiences.
WHAT IS TAPPING?
- Tapping, or EFT, is a technique that involves physically tapping acupressure points on your body.
- When we have anxiety, feel embarrassed or experience fears around learning, for example, we don’t just remember it in our brains, we feel it with our whole body—we might get that tension in our chest or feeling in our stomach, so it’s beneficial to have a technique that uses the mind and the body.
- When we have memories or fears, we are also having a fight or flight response. Even if we know we are safe, like before going on stage to speak, we respond as if we are in danger and being attacked. We have an overproduction of cortisol and increased adrenaline, making it hard to be creative, resourceful, and innovative.
- With tapping, it’s important to get very clear with the thought or memory that is creating anxiety in your body.
- You think about the memory that is triggering your response then begin to tap the acupressure points, sending a calming signal to your brain, allowing you to rewire that thought.
- If you have a negative thought but your body feels relaxed, it is easier to take a step back to ask yourself if what you are thinking is true. It’s harder to get out of a negative state of thinking when you are experiencing anxiety.
- Instead of just jumping to positive thinking, tapping allows you to honor your feelings and to think limiting beliefs from a place of calm. This empowers you to question the limiting belief and to choose something else.
- We have to be able to honor our experiences and what we are feeling to let our mind and body know that we are safe. Anytime we try something new we are wondering if it is safe for us.
- The more we can feel safe in our mind and body to experiment and make mistakes, the easier it is to learn.
- When we release the stress and pressure to be perfect and when we can allow ourselves to make mistakes we can learn faster, grow faster, and get to where we want to be faster.
- The opposite of success is not failure, failure is a part of success. If failure is not an option, neither is success, so we have to be willing to make mistakes.
- The expectations of other people keep us limited.
- Feeling fear is normal when trying new things. We have to give ourselves permission to experiment and feel safe while doing it.
- Knowledge is not power, it only becomes power when we utilize it. Commit to trying this activity as we go along.
- The first tapping point is the side of the hand. Using the tips of your fingers, tap the outer side of your hand beneath your pinky finger.
- The second tapping point is the eyebrow point. This is where the hair of your eyebrow begins above your nose.
- The next point is on the side of the eye on the bone near your temple.
- Follow the bone until you find yourself underneath the eye to the next point.
- The next two points are right underneath the nose and underneath the mouth. Find the crease between the lower lip and chin.
- Now, use both hands to touch either side of your collar bone. Move your hands an inch below the collar bone to the next tapping point.
- Next, you will tap on the side of your body, underneath your arm. This point is about hand width down from the armpit.
- Lastly, move to the final tapping point on the top of your head.
- These are nine powerful meridian points that help us begin to relax.
TAPPING IN ACTION
- Start the process by getting clear on how you are feeling with a setup statement. The setup statement sets you up for the process by acknowledging how you feel while having some level of acceptance. This helps you have a more honest conversation and release judgment while you tap.
- It’s important that we create a space to allow ourselves to be scared, angry, or whatever we are feeling as we tap and relax our body.
- Jessica takes us through two rounds of tapping. You will be continuously tapping each meridian point while also repeating the following phrases out loud or in your head.
- Begin by thinking about something you’ve been wanting to do but have been procrastinating on because you feel anxious or nervous to start (e.g. reading Jim’s book, Limitless, or finishing a resume). Give that feeling a number from zero to ten. Now, begin tapping:
- Tap the side of your hand while saying these words: Even though I get really nervous when I try something new, I accept how I feel. Even though I’m really scared that things won’t work out for me, I honor all of my feelings and I give my body permission to relax. Even though I’m nervous that things won’t work for me, I accept all of these feelings and I allow my body to relax.
- Now we start tapping on the eyebrow point and give a voice to how we feel. Say this: all this anxiety.
- Move to the side of the eye point and say: I want things to change.
- Tap under the eye and say: I want more out of life.
- Move under the nose and say: but I’m scared of being disappointed.
- Now under the mouth and say: I’m scared to make a mistake.
- Continue tapping, now under the collar bone and say: so I keep procrastinating.
- Move to the point under the arm and say: because that feels safer.
- Top of the head and say: when I’m dealing with all of this anxiety.
- For round two move back to the eyebrow point: I honor how hard this has been.
- Side of the eye: I recognize all of these fears.
- Tap under the eye: and I give my body permission to relax.
- Under the nose: right now and right here.
- Under the mouth: I am safe.
- Tapping under the collar bone, say: It’s safe to make a mistake.
- Under the arm: it’s safe to try something new.
- Top of the head: feeling safe to experiment, I am ready.
- Now take a deep breath in and exhale.
- That was just two rounds of tapping. Jessica typically goes through six rounds in tapping meditations.
- With tapping you should start with acknowledging and honoring how you feel and when you begin to feel calm, you can move to something more positive.
- Jessica’s team has an app called The Tapping Solution app that features a number of free tapping meditations. Check it out here!
- One of Jessica’s favorites is called “Releasing Anxiety”. Out of 260,000 people using this meditation, the average decrease in anxiety is 49% in under 10 minutes. Using the app and meditations for just ten minutes allows you to honor how you feel and move on to something more empowering.
- All learning in life is state-dependent.
- If you are a healthcare provider, teacher, or mental health practitioner, you can visit thetappingsolution.com to find out more about free memberships.
SHARE WITH US
- Take a screenshot of this episode, tag us on social media (@JessicaOrtner & @JimKwik) and share your greatest “aha!” moment from this episode with us.
- Visit TheTappingSolution.com for more on the book.
*Please note, this episode is educational only and is not intended to diagnose or treat medical conditions. Please consult your healthcare provider if you have any questions or concerns.*
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